You are not your job
If your identity is tied to your job, you may struggle after job loss. That's why it's important to understand you are more than your job. Find out how to build yourself up.
If you’ve lost or left a job, you may be grappling with an identity crisis.
That’s not surprising. You’ve devoted so much of your time and energy to your work that it’s easy to think of yourself in terms of what you do. I’m a writer. I’m a teacher. I’m an accountant.
But when that role is no longer needed by your workplace, you may ponder, “Who am I?
If you’re experiencing an after job loss identify crisis, you are not alone. It’s a common reaction if you’ve defined yourself by your work. The first thing people usually ask when they meet you for the first time is, “What do you do for a living?”
When my job was eliminated, I lost more than a paycheck. I lost my routine. My work family. My identity. If you’re like me, you’re probably feeling similar loss.
After all, if you’re not {insert your job}, who or what are you?
You are more than your work
You are more than your job.
You might answer the “Who am I” question with I am a woman. A mother. A wife. A daughter. A lover of puppies. A fighter for social justice. A chocolate addict. An exercise avoider. A prayer warrior. A worrier. A strategic planner.
Acknowledge that you are multi-faceted. You are a marvelous mix of many qualities, interest and quirks. One of these interests may provide the foundation for reinventing yourself, if you choose to do that.
You can’t neatly go back to your old life. Even if our former job would magically appear, you’re not that same person anymore. You need to move forward and heal.
How to find your new identity
Finding your identity is a process. It can take time and self-searching. Follow these eight steps to get started.
Acknowledge you are not your job. You are a person. A human being. Not a human doing. Each morning, repeat to yourself: “I am more than my job. I am more than my job. I am a human being who has worth. I am worthy. I am not a failure because I no longer have my job. I am more than my job. I am worthy.” This may seem awkward, but trust me, you need to get this realization into your psyche.
Grieve. Allow yourself space and time to grieve. Have yourself a good cry to release all the pent-up emotion. No need to be stoic. If you can’t work up a cry, then think of something truly sad. Perhaps someone who lost a loved one. The end of a depressing movie. Whatever would stir your heart. Allow those tears to flow, and once the tears start, you can move the tears to your situation and release your pain. tears are healing. Letting go helps you to open yourself to what is next. You are not a cry baby. You are a tear warrior.
Journal. Write down your feelings. List the things you enjoy. Write about what stirs your passion. Write about your dreams. What would you like to do if fear did not constrain you? Journaling benefits your physical health, mental health and spiritual health.
Find a group of friend to support you during this transition. Some experts recommend that you ask them to describe you. Listen to the words that they use. These descriptions may provide clues to your identity. You can ponder on those clues as you reinvent yourself. Emerge like a phoenix from the ashes of your former job.
Network. Meet with one or two (or more) people for coffee each week. They can be professionals who you knew in your previous position, or they can be people that you would like to get to know. One woman whose executive job was eliminated was encouraged in such a networking meeting to run for city council. Her skillset and background were a perfect match.
Volunteer. Find a cause that is dear to your heart and volunteer your time and talents. When you were working, you may not have had time to get involved. One woman who lost her job reached out to a foundation for the medical conditions that her parent died from. The foundation was so impressed that it later asked her to interview to serve on its national board of directors.
Seek God. Your friends have their own lives and can’t be there 24/7 to help when you hit a low spot. The God who created you surely understand your pain. He wants you to find your identity in something that will not change., to find your identity in Him. He loves you regardless of your employment status. He knows the true you that you’re afraid to show the world. Trust in Him.
Identity crisis after job loss is not uncommon, and the above steps can help you overcome it.
Remember, dear one, you are not your job. You are more than your job. It is likely another job will come along, but there will only be one you. Allow yourself to heal from the trauma of job loss and to dream again. Explore who you are, not what you do.
When you start with the realization that you are more than your job, you can walk through this transition and emerge stronger.
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